How do I know if there's something wrong with me if I don't know how other people feel?

How do I know if there’s something wrong with me if I don’t know how other people feel?




Hi, sometimes I don’t know I am just a event of “1st world problems” or if I have mental matters because I don’t know what “normal” parties feel like( I know no one does ). I’m a 31 yo wife, after I finished uni I invested 5 years cut away from beings only sitting at home. Merely a year ago I have a job and recaptured a “normal” life. I have a job in online customer support which I fucking love because I get to solve little technological both problems and don’t have to think about myself. As long as I’m before or at work I’m penalty. It’s the days off that I get pangs of sadnes over the lost 5 years and fright of loneliness for the future. I have a constant a braid in my stomach on my periods off, I care I could wreak 7 days a week.

I’ve never had a boyfriend or had copulation( well formerly roughly when I was 24, I tried to force myself but it felt tricky ). I have never kissed anyone sober and frankly I have not been able to felt gratification from caressing. I’ve had spate of courtesy, my gazes are not the issue. I’m straight, since I started my new job I’ve had 2 quashes on coworkers( both take ). I’m not asexual I reflect,( I fantasize and masturbate ), I time find all this so hard to do.

I remember having a proper period of depression at 13 because I clearly remember not feeling anything. I retain wishing to even feel sadness or any negative emotion as it would have been better than literally good-for-nothing. Now I merely feel more uneasy as I feel my time is running out.




Short backstory: My mothers had me belatedly. They got together because whey were getting age-old and there was no one else left. My mother has been depressed my whole life, a hermit who withdraws as a coping mechanism( “shes had” 2 mental disintegrations when I was a teen where she would disappear somewhere for hours, then come back and hide in the wardrobe. She went on early retirement which was bad for her I remember ). My father is on the autistic line-up I infer. He has been obsessive about money my entirety life to the point of dripping liquid overnight into a bucket so that water meters don’t register it. This might reverberate frivolous but it violate their own families. It provoked my mom’s deteriorations which provoked my sadnes. Likewise I was playing for resources with my sister( haven’t been talking about her in 15 years ). People have always laughed at my daddy or razzed him. He was a weirdo. He was also absent when I was 1-4 years old because “hes working” abroad so this might have constructed me not bail with beings.

I never toiled any of that through with my parents and now It’s too late as they are old and sickly and I’m sure not was just going to clear they more chilled in their old age than they already are. My father wouldn’t have the mental capabilities to process such info anyway and my mommy would cry and maybe worse.

I only don’t know if I’m actually mentally ill or if I’m protrude my mothers onto me.

submitted by / u/ herkapute [ association ] [ observes ]

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