Why am I so damn fragile? (HELP)

Why am I so damn fragile? (HELP)

I am a 19 year old-fashioned male, freshman in college at a university. I don’t accurately comes here a poor kinfolk, but my parents aren’t the best with fund. Nevertheless, I’ve never done without something I’ve needed. So I am lucky I’m that sense.

I’m currently within the firstly two weeks of my second semester at college. So far my part time now has been a fucking mental combat. I have one good friend whom I adoration, and a duet acquaintances. I do enjoy college sometimes, but the average day consists of forcing myself to get out of bed around 9-10 am, was just going to chides, going chocolate around 12, and everything is fine.

But by 3-4 pm every day I slip into this kind of sad, wearied, depressing and desirous nation where all I do is overthink and remember in the past.

Now get ready, because I’m about to tell an arguably perplexing storey, but it is the truth.

I have generalized tension, major sadnes, and ADHD. Sometimes I feel like the only time I enjoy is either when I’m comfortably buzzed from alcohol or weed, off Ritalin, or the 30 hours of caffeine high after some good chocolate with my friend.

I may be only 19, but I cuss I peaked in “schools “. This is fucking dumber to think about when you take into account I was homeschooled and an introvert.

However, my years from 12 -1 8 existed chiefly of swimming for my squad team. As my busines progressed I become popular and desired by everyone because I was good glancing, rent, funny, hard working and honorable, and reasonably good at the athletic. The girlfriends all adoration me, a very young kids looked up to me, my coach called me his self-proclaimed “best friend, ” and the guys my age and I were all one tight great friend radical. Like brothers.

Now even though I suffered moderate recession and tension during my high school years, I gotta say they seem like they were, and probably is likely to be, very best years of my life.

But here I am in college. I can’t tell the whole story but not only do I miss “schools “, swimming, dwelling, my friends and family, and the massively lower persuades of “schools “, but I too miss two things that really make me feel like a dumbass.

I miss the social hierarchy of high school. Yes. I miss it. I miss being at the top of it. I miss girls who actually settled try into their grooming and physical shape. I miss the clout I got for good points and being an athlete. I miss ligament with very good friends the overly emphasized competition of sports.

There is a girl. She’s a fucking junior right now. I had a humble on her for years but she and I never dated because we were both reticent and dumb. I miss the shit out of her. We tried dating summertime of my major year but we both realise it wouldn’t work because I was going to college. But I’m not over her and this is causing me appalling middle disintegrate because we both like one another but the different stages of life we’re in make it hopeless.

So here I am. My happiness is fragile as all blaze, my beliefs for life are impractical if I even know what they are anymore. I’m ever fucking spent. I can’t sleep at night … probably because my ADHD/ anxiety compounding realise me live in a constant state of overthinking. I can’t ever be happy bc all I do is reminisce in nostalgia and miss my friends and family back home and my aged life and think about this fucking girl.

I guess I capacity ok because my positions aren’t awful and I’m coping to pull off reasonably good accomplishment in my organization swimming, even without a coach-and-four.

But by around 3 pm everyday I feel like this and it doesn’t end until I manage to fall asleep by 2-4 am.

I feel fucking miserable.

TL 😀 R: I’m depressed, uneasy, have bad ADHD, am overly nostalgic, heartbroken, and basically feel bleak and hopeless for arguably no good reason.

Is this normal? Is there providing assistance to me?

I’m on symbalta but it doesn’t seems to work. If anything, my first semester on it I went through an existential crisis and saw suicide for the first time in my life.

Please improve me.

to be presented by / u/ SgtALeppo [ connect ] [ observation ]

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